I am the mother of three wonderful children. My two boys are my biological and my girl is by marriage, or as Tina Knowles puts it, “my bonus daughter”. Regardless of who is bonus or biological I am raising them with the same values and on the same budget. As a mother, the most important thing I can give to my three children, apart from unconditional love is confidence.
When you instill confidence in your children, you are truly preparing them for this savage world. A world that is full of bullies and “trolls”. When I was growing up I did not encounter many parents who would constantly instill greatness in their children. What we got was the fact that a great (academic) education was going to take us through life. So if you were not considered “bright” (whatever that means), it would immediately mess with your self confidence. So I spent most of my teenage years trying to fit in and stay in that “bright” group. I did not care if I was not referred to as pretty. I would have taken “bright” over pretty any day. This feeling stayed with me into my twenties.
By the time I turned thirty, a bell went off. I started to discover who I was. I started to see the world through different lenses. My value system from my childhood was very much the same but my ideas about the type of parent I wanted to be differed. I started to prioritize confidence and smartness over “brightness”. I recognized by this time that it was my confidence and “smarts” that got me to where I was at that point in my life. No one asked me what grade I had in Math, English or Spanish. They asked me, “What was my name; where I was from; and why was I the best person for this job?” They judged me based on how I was dressed, how I answered those questions and based on my confidence level.
Don’t misunderstand me, I don’t discount the value of a good education, but I firmly believe that it is not responsible for your success. Success is not born out of academia, it is born out of attitude, determination and confidence. All of which you derive from your upbringing. I know this to be a fact. No one had a discussion about this with me when I was growing up. The only time I felt important was when I brought good grades home. I later discovered that the persons who did not bring good grades home as children are some of the most successful people in their careers today. I suppose the reason for this is they were confident in their own skin. Maybe they had people behind them telling them constantly that they could be great at their passion, whether that was sports or singing.
As a mother, I constantly reassure my children that they are kings and a queen in the making. Their names don’t have to be, Elizabeth, Phillip or William to be on the throne. For education to catapult them to success, it needs to be paired with confidence and exposure. The greatest education I can provide my children with is exposure. It is important to have them travel around the world. My job is to put greatness in them from the word go. I have no desire to tear them down with my words. There is a world full of people waiting to do that to them. My job is to be like DJ Khaled remind them daily, “You the best”.
Every week we have meetings at our palace to discuss how kings and queens should dress, how they should walk into a room. We talk about money matters; what is good debt and bad debt. They already know how to build good credit as teenagers. And yes they know what type of man and woman to bring to the palace to meet their parents. The royals are on the throne because the are raised to be royal. If I am not mistaken Kate’s parents raised and prepared her for marriage to William. Now that is my kind of parenting. If you raise your children to live up to low stands don’t be annoyed when they meet it.
#peace and ❤️
Basia aka Slayer
Follow me on the IG/basiapowell