What I learnt in my 40’s

Growing up, I used to think that a 40 year old person was an old person. Well Karma is a “bixxx” because here I am standing in my 40s and this is the best I have ever felt. My kids tell me everyday, “Mom you don’t look a day over 28.” (Best kids ever😀) On a serious note though, I have come to realize that turning 40 has little to do with aging, but far more to do with living and learning.

turned 40 I learnt some of my greatest lessons. It’s like a bell went off and wisdom found my address. I learnt that in life you will only have one or two real friends and most relationships and friendships are about solidarity a.k.a, “What’s in it for me.” It became clear that some people will value your friendship based on how it improves their lives, not based on what it does for you. My 40s changed my definition of friendships and relationships in general.

After 40, I started to prioritize happiness. I realized that the most important thing to me is being healthy and happy. Money is a bonus, as it can only be properly enjoyed with good health and happiness. And guess what, when I started focusing on happiness, the money started flowing. I became more determined than ever to find my happiness and that meant changing things about my life I did not like, and changing people around me who were not contributing to my happiness. I became unapologetic about maintaining my joy.

rienced a sprint between ages 18 and 40. What also struck me was family ,friends, and school mates who died young. What made it worse was my life changing cancer diagnosis before I turned 40. My mortality flashed before my eyes. This made me realize that I did not come here to stay but to play and slay. As such, after 40 I became a “Slayer”, for real. A happy life became my priority.

Everyday I wake up and have life in my body, is a good day. Everyday after 40 became a more grateful one. I fell in love with gratitude and chose not to complain even when I was tempted. After 40, I realized that prayer really works and it was a far better alternative than worrying. I no longer worry; I pray and I slay, all day and all night…😁

I became unconcerned about how people felt about me, and more concerned with how I felt about me. I also understood that unhappy people hurt people. So I did not need a more in-depth explanation for why friends and associates will try to harm me. I created a new vision board for my life based on faith, the wisdom I gained from my mistakes, and a keen awareness that life is short and time goes by quickly. In other words, no day should be wasted.

The saying, “This too shall pass” became real. I recognized that the present was far more important than the past. I never want my past to be more meaningful and precious than my present. I found new dreams and found new ways to fall in love with my life. And yes, as you get older you can have physical challenges, because the body slows down but an active exercise regime, healthy diet and nightly moisturizing helps me to counteract the signs of aging that can happen to any unhealthy 30 year old. Aging is a choice. It’s a mindset. The best combat to an aging face is a smile and a clean heart.

In my 40’s I started to focus more on my career and I rejected the idea of a job. It became more important to me to do what I love, and love what I do. I made a deal with myself and a promise to God that my vision board was my “Happiness Plan”. I see so many people living to work and not working to live. So many people are running down the “almighty dollar”, but not making time or do not have the time to spend and enjoy it. Why work and you cannot play?

Everyday I get up, I know it is going to be a good day. Some days are better than others. The better days came when I decided to live. I have my freedom to go wherever I want and do as I please. There are many people in this world who can’t say this. I realize that life can suck at times. But what sucks more is the way we view life and the way we respond to what life throws at us. You can choose to cry and give up when people choose to hurt you, or you can choose to become stronger and better. Let life be the song you dance to. After I turned 40, I decided that I came here to win and I can only win a race with winning thoughts and by surrounding myself with winners. I stay away from friends and relatives who are in the business of competing. I don’t compete;I win. I am running my race in my own lane. I am not concerned about the speed anyone else is running at. I am happy.

After all is said and done, we all have one shot at this audition called life. I am too busy auditioning to care if you like me. So many people are making themselves miserable chasing somebody else’s dream; or trying to live a life they cannot afford. Despite the size of your house, you can only sleep in one bed at night and use one toilet at a time😎. So when you lay down to sleep, please do so with a peace of mind. Happiness is a choice and so is unhappiness. If you are turning 40 or it just happened; welcome to the best phase of your life. A phase of self-awareness and wisdom .You are about to discover who your real friends are, what you really like to do for fun and what really makes you happy. Do you and choose happiness. Most of all, remember to slay😜.


Basia aka #Slayer

3 thoughts on “What I learnt in my 40’s

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  1. Nice article, but I think you go through fazes thinking a certain age is old. Think back to when you were a teen u thought everyone in their 20’s and beyond was old. Even when in your early thirties you think 37 and beyond is old until you start inching closer to that age. I am pretty sure when you hit your mid to late thirties you,didn’t think 40was old anymore because you were soon there.

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