40 And Single?

I know many women who are in their 40s and are single. Despite several attempts at love, they have not found “Mr Right”. The women I know are also attractive and gainfully employed. They are not looking for a “Sugar Daddy”. They can handle their business. The question remains, “Why are they still on the market and they have so much going for them?”

On the other hand, most of my girlfriends who are divorcees, have since remarried or are in satisfied relationships (not everyone wants to be married). So this intrigued me. I could not understand why a man will quicker marry a woman who is divorced, and in some cases she has children, than a woman who has never walked down the aisles and is single and available. I decided to do my research.

After chatting with several of my male acquaintances and relatives, I discovered some cold, hard facts. It was brought to my attention that not every woman is “wife material”. Ladies, you know how we can tell from the first date whether he is “husband material “ or not? Well the same applies to us. Many years ago, one of my male friends shared with me that a man usually knows within the first month of dating you if he is going to marry you. I would later ask my husband if this is true, and he said yes.

I know that there are many women who will find this article helpful and others who will find it offensive. I apologize in advance. I also recognize that their are many women in their 40s who are single by choice. They simply cannot be bothered to try and train another man. If this is so, I don’t blame them 😎. However, if you are one of the aforementioned sisters still hoping to find love,please note the following:

  • First things first, there is no “Mr Right”. What is right for you, may not be right for me. Two women can date the same man and get totally different results. He will propose to one woman in one month and the other may never get a proposal. One might describe him as the best man she has ever had, and the other will describe him as the worst. This is because one of the two women was successful in bringing out the “best man” in him.
  • A man may also decide if you will be his wife on his first visit to your home. If he does not feel at home with you when he comes to your place, then you cannot create a home for him. If he refuses to sleep over and leaves after he gets “the business”, he ain’t looking for a home honey. He is looking for a hole😎
  • You need to be vulnerable. Men don’t marry “bixxes”. You can be a “bixx” to me, but not to him. He wants vulnerability. Let your guard down and let him see who you are at your core. Don’t be uptight. That will scare him. He needs to feel safe and needed with you. A man should not have to take a deep breadth before he comes home. He should be so excited to rush home to you. Your physical appearance may attract him initially to you (and I encourage you to keep that up as well) but, your personality and values will keep him.
  • Don’t try to be the man in the relationship! If he wants to date a man or marry one, he can do so freely. The laws have changed. Men like to be coaxed, not controlled. Let him lead. Feed him ideas but let him think they came from him😂😂. If you don’t like where he is leading you, have a conversation or leave.
  • Love yourself first. One of reasons many of my fine sisters are single in their 40s is due to the fact that they do not love themselves. If you do not treat yourself right; how do you expect a man to “come correct”? You have to teach a man or anyone for that matter, how you want to be treated by the way you treat yourself. Too many women feel like they have to compromise and settle to get who or what they want. When you start loving yourself too much to compromise or to settle, then you will get the man or person of your dreams. This theory also applies to same sex relationships.

At the end of the day, being single in your 40s is is not a crime. But if you have been living in the same place all of your life and you, your friends and your school mates are recycling the same guys, (i.e penises) please consider moving. Is it possible that the pool you are selecting from is way too small? If I were you, I would migrate😜. (I am just saying). However, migrating only helps if the above issues are addressed. As the saying goes, “You can run, but you can’t hide.” Address what is going on on the inside before you change your address.

P.S Good luck finding the man of your dreams


Basia aka Slayer

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