I do not believe in love at first sight. I believe in attraction at first sight. How can you seriously love someone you do not know? Recently, I was asked by a friend if she should choose love or money as she navigates the dating game, and she was astonished to find out that my advise to all single progressive women, would be choose money, if they can’t have both. Before you start jumping to conclusions, let me explain.
I am not saying that I will choose a man based on how much money he has or his net worth. However, I will advise any single woman to choose a man based on his (present) ability to be a good provider to his future wife and children. I never get caught up in my feelings about a man because “he is cute”(Ain’t nobody got time for that). I am not going to think about how cute he is when we are married, my children are hungry and he cannot pay or assist in paying our bills. I know women who married because they were so smitten by his good looks. Today, some of them are divorced and paying alimony or ain’t getting any.
Ladies, if you can look at a man and fall in love with him, good for you. You are very talented. I agree, you can start off by liking him and fall in love after you get to know him. A man has to prove his love and loyalty to a woman. When you meet a guy, you may or may not fall in love with him overtime. Go in “head” first. It worked for me😎. When you enter into a relationship with your “heart” first, you are unable to properly assess the character of a man. You begin to explain away all his bad habits.
y cannot buy you love or happiness but when you find yourself in a relationship with a man who cannot buy you anything, that can make you very unhappy (#Realtalk). A man is suppose to win a woman’s heart by treating her special during their courtship. How can a woman feel special at the beginning of a relationship, when her man is unable to buy her anything? I am fully aware that there are men who have a lot of money and can buy a woman several gifts at the beginning of a relationship, and not be serious about her. I am not referring to those types of men. I am referring to a man who found his queen and he is willing to sacrifice his needs for her wants. I hate it when women settle at the beginning of a relationship and don’t allow a man to prove his love. Ladies when we do that, we end up settling for the rest of the relationship.
Some of you may ask me, “Basia what if he has potential to earn well and he loves me?” What is potential? And how do you define love, if it has not been tested? I have seen women compromise for men with “potential” from the beginning of a relationship, and as soon these men maximize their potential, they move on. At the end of the day, a “real” man takes great pride in being the leader and provider in his home.
I know couples who have been married for some time and the husband loses his job for one reason or another, and the wife has to take care of things until he gets back on his feet financially. That is different. A woman is supposed to stand by her man in good times and bad times. Remember those vows, “Richer or poorer…” That has nothing to do with this article. You do not have to stand by any man you are dating.
There so many single women who feel like if they marry a man who does not have the means to provide, but he has “potential”, eventually he will take care of things when he starts to make his “coins”. That is not necessarily the case. If he marries you because he truly loves you and you were not a “start-up” opportunity for him to advance , maybe things can work out. But how do you know for sure if he really loves you, if he is not in a position to show you? After all, he moved into your house, he is driving your car and he has been looking for a job for months going on a year. That is a risk I am not willing to take. #Boybye.
There is nothing like when you and your partner are on the same page. It does not even matter if the woman is in a higher pay grade than her man. What matters is he prioritizes bringing his check home to his woman and he takes care of his family. There are some men making lots of money and their wives and children do not see any of it😡. When you allow a man to demonstrate that you are his priority from the very beginning, then you know who you are following in love with. If he cannot put his money where his “love” is, girl 🏃♀️. I am not suggesting that a woman should look for a man to take care of her, but I am suggesting that a woman should choose a man that she does not have to take care of. They should compliment each other. If you start questioning whether you need a “prenup”, to marry this man, girl 🏃♀️.
At the end of the day, every woman is different. Honestly, for any woman reading this article and you feel otherwise, “nuff” respect to you. I was blessed to be able to choose both money and love at the beginning of my relationship. To quote Kanye “I ain’t saying I was gold digger, but I ain’t messing with no broke ni___er🎼🎼”. Based on my experience and that of my single girlfriends and relatives, I would not advise any woman to enter a relationship taking care of a man financially . That is not a good idea. He eventually resents you and you end up resenting yourself. A real man takes care of the woman he loves.
Ladies go find your king, but remember he does not have to be rich, but “he’s got to have a JOB if he wants to be with me”. In other words, “No romance without finance.” No money💰, no love💕.
Basia aka Slayer 😎💰
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