In my book, Thirty Days To Lasting Happiness, I wrote a chapter on the above title, “Everybody Can’t Like You.”I know people who are deeply troubled by this. They are so focused on trying to get everyone to like them, they don’t even realize that they don’t even like themselves. If everybody likes you, you might be doing something wrong. Most of all, if you do not enjoy your own company,then you need to be concerned.
Human beings are funny creatures. That is why many people are more loyal to their pets. It is a safe place to channel your emotions. Pets can be more loyal than most humans. People will smile with you to your face and say horrible things about you as soon as you turn your back. Your pet would not do that. Sometimes these same people are related to you. Why do they treat you like this ? It’s called unhappiness. If someone is innately unhappy, there is nothing you can do about it. Sometimes the better you treat them, the worst they feel and treat you.
Do not become focused on treating people well for them to like you. Everybody cannot like you. You must treat people well because that is your personal standard. As a parent, I raise my children to be kind to everyone , but I also point out to them that not everyone they meet will return the favor. That is life. Some people are just wounded and if they are hurting they want you to feel the same pain. Misery loves company. It is not your job to fix everyone you meet. Sometimes people need to be left alone to fix themselves. As soon as they show you who they are, believe them and 🏃♀️. God did not send you here to save the world. That is His job.
So what do you do with this information? You choose your friends carefully and your confidantes with greater scrutiny. Talk less and listen more, so you allow people to show you who they really are. Focus more on pleasing yourself. If you focus on pleasing everyone around you, you would never be happy. In fact, you will go insane. I am not advising that you should not go out of your way for someone , but you cannot go out of your way for everyone. Choose your tribe wisely. Do not focus on being a people pleaser. Focus on being honest with everyone you encounter. If you are going to have a friendship with me, it is going to be based on honesty, not on me trying to please you. I cannot be happy being someone I am not. Sincerity is the best accessory a person can have. I will abandon any relationship where I discover deception.
Love and honesty are precious gifts that not everyone can give or receive. People would dislike you at the drop of a hat, for no good reason. They may dislike you because you have something they don’t have; you live somewhere they don’t live, or for other foolish reasons. The most important thing to remember is that everyone don’t thing the way you do. We were all made equally but not the same. For this reason, for those of us who know better, we do better.
Never dislike someone for their blessings. What is for you, no one can take away. It’s your destiny. Focus your energy on being genuinely happy for others and you will see how much more blessings you will receive. As Bob Marley says, “Who Jah bless, no man curse.” I am never concerned with my detractors. The more they hate me, the more I prosper. I am not out here trying to make everyone like me. I am too busy loving myself.
So as we approach another Yuletide season, give yourself the gift of love. Focus on teaching people how to love you and treat you, by the way you love yourself. If you have time to focus on how many people don’t like you, then you are not making enough time to love yourself. Forget about what people think about you and keep being the best at being you. When you succeed at that, everyone will like you. People like winners. They forget about all the things they don’t like about you when you are winning. They will even take credit for the things they did not do.
When you encounter a person that dislikes you immediately, don’t take offense. Feel sorry for that person. It is not you they dislike, but something about you that reminds them about an aspect of themselves that they dislike. You are simply a mirror. Maybe they have been trying to lose weight for a very long time and you show up with your “skinny” self, or they have been trying to have kids and you keep popping them out like rabbits. My point is, the dislike is always triggered by something you possess and they wish they had. So technically it’s all admiration 😜. It depends on how you look at it. Here is my definition of admiration. Admiration is when someone recognizes your progress, abilities, positive attributes etc by either complimenting you or disliking you.
Have you ever realize that it is easier for human beings to show empathy and care for the less fortunate or those they consider to be at their level? However, the moment you appear to be on another level and you are moving on up like the Jeffersons, the gloves are off. They will find everything that is wrong with you, because your life is coming together. The higher you climb, the less friends you will have at the top.
I wish people will realize that while we are not the same, God did in fact make us equal. Why? We are all struggling with something. No one has everything they want. There is always something you have that someone else does not. It was designed that way for us all to want for something. It maybe a child, money, a spouse, career, house, you name it. We don’t have everything we want. So stop disliking people because they have something you don’t have. If you would take time to know them, you would discover that your story is the same with different needs and wants.
P.S. Give yourself the gift of happiness this season by purchasing my book (Happiness journal) “Thirty Days To Lasting Happiness” on my Blog www.basiapowell.com or on Amazon.com
Follow me on the IG/ instagram.com/basiapowell
Basia aka Slayer