I love learning new things. The best lessons have been from the mistakes I have made along the way. However, if you repeat your mistakes, they become bad habits. Throughout my life I have learnt many valuable lessons. Here are the 7 Lessons I learnt:
Everybody cannot like you.
If everyone likes you, then you are doing something wrong. The most important person who should like you, is you. Most people will like you if there is something in it for them. A handful of people would love you unconditionally. The rest would like you for what they can get from you. If the people in your life are constantly trying to control you,that is not love. Love is a verb. It’s easy to say you love someone, but it is harder to prove it. Sometimes the nicer you are to people, the worse they treat you. It’s about what is going on internally with them. As Damian Marley says in song, “People will always be who they are, that’s what really makes the world go round. Unconditional love is rare.” The things they love about you, can sometimes be the things they hate about you.
You have to teach people how to treat you.
Most people are takers. If you are a giver, they will take and take until there is nothing left. I have learnt that I have to teach people how to treat me by setting boundaries. Respect is something that goes both ways. Love is no good without respect. Do not remain in an environment where you are not respected. Never allow people to take you for granted and mistreat you, regardless of who they are. Whatever you take is what they will give. Know your worth, and others will recognize your value. The only person you are forever indebted to, is your Creator.
Many people take for granted the importance of being happy. Unhappiness can lead to many lifestyle diseases. There are several unhappy people roaming this earth, looking to form a squad. There are many people who claim they are happy but specialize in making others unhappy . Energy is contagious. “You hang around with losers, you end up a loser.” Therefore, do not expect to be happy associating with unhappy people. A toxic relationship can mess up your entire life. Positive energy attract positive people and produces positive experiences.
Set high standard for yourself
I have always set high personal standards. No one will rise to low standards. The higher my standards, the higher my productivity levels. High standards achieve abundant results. Low or no standards, produces mediocre or no results. Never lower your standards to make someone else happy. Have them meet you at your standard. It maintains respect.
Worrying is useless
I have a saying that works for me, “24 hours can make a difference.” I wrote this in my book, “Thirty Days To Lasting Happiness.” As such, whenever I am confronted with difficulties, I push through because I know there will be something else next week to worry about. It’s just like the saying, “This too shall pass” Don’t waste time worrying about the past or today or about who did you wrong. It all comes together in the end. You will never grow from worrying. Instead of worrying, go through life searching for opportunities to grow.
People don’t change
When people show you who they are, believe them. Most people don’t change who they are at the core. They find new ways to disguise themselves. If you struggle with jealousy and envy, what’s the cure for that? If you are selfish at your core, that is who you are. It will always be about you. If you hear someone constantly badmouthing others, ask yourself, “ What are they saying about me when I am not present?” If you are honest at your core, you would be honest when no one is watching.
Guard your heart
I have been hurt so many times by the people who supposedly loved and cared about me, that very few people can truly hurt me now. I love the saying, “Work hard and be good to people” I do both. I truly expect little in return. For as long as Karma exist, I don’t need to get even with anyone. I will treat everyone that surrounds me well but my heart is not for everyone.
Overall, I have learnt that “hurting people”, hurt people. I have no idea what it is like to be badly hurt, that I would want to hurt others. I empathize though, and I recognize that many people are hurting emotionally from past experiences. Everyone do not have to pay for it. Nevertheless, this is my life and I am entitled to write my story any way I see fit, without explanation,interference, apology and regret.
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Basia aka Slayer