Basia Alicia Powell
This year, I have been focusing a lot on my personal growth and dare I say, I may have experienced some major “growth spurts”. Since we were all affected by this pandemic in one way or the other, I used my downtime to do a personal audit on the areas I needed to address in my life. I think it is very important to do periodical audits.
My self audit/ introspection began around summer, after witnessing a rising death toll, horrific racial crimes and social injustice. The visuals were mind blowing. The world as a whole was like a ticking time bomb, waiting to explode. Every problem (personal, racial, economic and political) that existed was on full display. Even if we chose to run, we could not hide.
I also could not hide from the things that were boiling over in my head. I had to answer the questions that were piling up in my head. Even if I did not have the answers, I had to find the people who were qualified to assist me navigate these answers. Questions like what or who is holding me back from doing what I need to do to take my care to the next level? What habits do I need to change to achieve X or Y? There were many questions to answer.
One of my major findings is the fact that I have been putting my needs for further growth aside for far too long, in favor of the needs of others. The habit of self-sabotaging was staring me straight in the face. The lingering fear that addressing my personal growth will force me to make choices that may make others uncomfortable or bring out their insecurities.
I soon found out that I cannot stop myself from growing. My self development is intricately tied to my mental and emotional health. More importantly it is guided by the needs of my soul. After all, the people who truly love and care for me, will simply have to grow with me or accept me for who I am.
My Covid19 introspection helped me to confront my hesitation to go in a direction that would cement my ultimate growth and that felt scary to me. I was forced to revisit plans and projects I had put on hold, secretly hoping that the desire to complete them would disappear.The problem with quarantine, (as we are all learning for the first time in our lives) is it allows you to read the writing on the wall. It forces you to see everything about your life that you have been taking for granted or trying to ignore.
Most of al, it highlights the urgency to truly live, if you are blessed enough to come out of this alive.
The year 2020 may have claimed many many lives, but I feel like having used this very dark period as an opportunity for self audit and quarantine, it may have saved my life, helped me to live with intention and limited regrets. It forced me to deal with my needs first, and finally step in a direction that would bring me more professional and personal fulfillment.
Many people believe that after all is said and done, life would never be the same. Even after a vaccine is distributed, people would be left feeling more insecure about their daily existence. I am not sure if I see it that way, I feel after all is said and done, we will have more clarity and a greater awareness. Perhaps we may all start living the way we were meant to. One thing this pandemic did for me is highlight how “unsanitized’ the world was prior to this period. Hopefully those in the restaurant industry will maintain the highest standard of hygiene.
As we begin a brand new week and as we step towards the end of a year that will certainly go down in history as perhaps the most challenging year in modern times, I have no choice, but to still be grateful that I am still standing. Grateful that my family and I are alive, we have plenty food on our table, we have been able to help the less fortunate during this difficult time.
I am grateful that I have been able to stare the truth about my life in the face and move on with clarity and a greater determination to live with intention and with a greater purpose. Most of all, I am grateful to God for saving my life and providing for my every need during a year that would go down on record as being the most challenging year in modern times.
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