As I approach my 45th birthday, I would like to check in with you. I wish you would have told me that an 18 year old girl raised by a divorced mother, could be anything she wants to be. Had I known the importance of dreaming back then I would have dreamt bigger. I wish I knew then that I was responsible for teaching people how to treat me, particularly men. I would have kissed less 🐸 frogs.
Today I reflect on all those times people told me I could not do it, or I was not pretty enough because my lips were too big and my hair was too short and thick. I wish I knew that being black and female was actually powerful and the shade of my blackness was just as good as the shade of my girlfriends’ whiteness or lightness. I wish I knew it was ok to color outside the lines and that confidence would be my race and best attribute. I now know that what my parents thought was defiance, was actually determination and staying true to myself. I wish I knew that not everyone I meet would like me and some would pretend to like me because they saw where God was taking me.
Had I known at 18 that my “Prince Charming” would be a fabulous Jamaican man who happened to be a professional cricketer, I would have waited and not have wasted time on all those losers. I would have paid more attention to the game when I saw my grandfather watching cricket . (Still clueless about the game). We are now parents to three wonderful children (one with autism) and they tell me that I am a pretty cool mom. I love them with all my ♥️.
I wish I knew back then that education and success are not necessarily about your grades but about how current you are, and that technology would take over the world and make some jobs obsolete. Most of all, I wish somebody took time to explain the difference between a job and a career to me.
You could have given me a heads up on my breast cancer diagnosis. I seriously did not see that one, and I had no idea that I would become such a strong woman. I handled that chemo like a “bissh”😡. You should have told me that cancer does not have to take your life, it can teach you how to live. Now I know.
Why couldn’t you tell me back then that I was wrong and I don’t know everything and that it is ok to fail? Now I see I had a lot to learn. I had no idea that I did not know myself and that I was just enough. Now I know that I can choose what I want to be called and who and what I answer to. Now I know that back then I was a queen in the making and I have the right now to see and refer to myself as such. You forgot to mention these things to me. It’s ok though, I guess I had to learn the hard way because most of all, as I approach my 45th birthday I have learnt that growth and birth cannot occur without pain. I now know that “Bad Bisshes” don’t cry. I have finally realized that God does not take His direction from me or my haters. I now know that it is fantastic to be one year smarter. After surviving breast cancer it is indeed a privilege to turn 45 and announce my age to the world.
Do I have any regrets? Maybe if I knew all the things I shared above, I would have dreamt bigger. I also learnt that it’s never too late to go after your dreams.Today this queen is getting ready to celebrate her 45th birthday because God chose to leave me on this planet after such a dreadful cancer diagnosis. All praises to The Most High! I am grateful for life, my husband, children, parents and most of all, the lessons. I feel so incredibly blessed. So what are my plans this birthday? To stay happy, keep winning, make passionate love to my husband, dream bigger and keep slaying all day and all night…#basiastyle.
Photography by Ricardo Powell Cheers to the best year of my life ahead…2018 comethru!